Daniel Kitson



I wrote this show initially in February and March of 2015 and toured it through Australia and New Zealand for Eight weeks.


I am going to entirely rewrite it for the Edinburgh Festival 2015. Where i will perform it every day at 12.15pm (except Tuesdays)



Here is the blurb that i wrote before i knew what it was entirely about.



I have written a Play.*


It has a pretty epic scope, a relatively grand vision and somewhere in the region of twenty characters. It is, in short, a real humdinger.


Unfortunately though, it is a script so ambitious, so demanding, so exquisitely detailed that handing an actor this text and putting them in front of an audience is much like handing  a three year old child a pint of coffee and putting them in front of a zipwire.


It wont end well.


So I, ever vigilant, have pre-recorded each actor, in isolation, onto a separate tape, their fallibility erased with editing and their odious need for attention mitigated by the removal of the audience. Leaving a litany of individual voices – each one perfect and captured on a tape that when played back in precise unison will form a glorious theatrical polyphony.


The play is perfect.


The tapes are perfect.


I just need enough people to press play. That’s all.



*I directed it as well and I’ve got the main part too.





Edinburgh - Paines Plough Roundabout - Summerhall.


Ticket sales are through The Fringe Box Office and The Summerhall Box Office who have differing allocations and onsale dates.


Tickets here from May 21st.  - Sold Out.

Tickets here from June 4th.




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